How to get power of attorney for a parent or loved one

Perhaps there’s someone in your life — like an aging parent — who won’t be able to manage their affairs someday. You can prepare for this now by helping them set up a power of attorney, so you can help them handle their affairs if they become incapable of doing so.

A power of attorney (or POA) is a legal document that lets you grant another person the authority to make important decisions on your behalf. The person who writes the POA is called the principal or grantor, since they’re granting someone permission to act on their behalf. The person they grant permission to is called their agent, proxy, or attorney-in-fact.

For you to legally act on someone else’s behalf, they must create a power of attorney and name you as their agent. For their POA to be valid, they must grant you this power of their own free will. It’s up to them who they name as their agent, and how much power they give the agent. If they’re pressured or coerced into these decisions, the POA won’t be found valid in court.

The grantor must also be of sound mind — meaning they can make important decisions and understand their impact. Because of this, it’s a good idea to help someone make their POA while they’re healthy and competent.

There’s no way to become someone’s agent once they’re incapacitated — for example, if they have dementia. Instead, you can gain legal responsibility for them by becoming their conservator, or adult guardian.

6 steps to get power of attorney for a parent or loved one

Here are the basic steps to help a parent or loved one make their power of attorney, and name you as their agent:

1. Help the grantor decide which type of POA to create.

There are different kinds of POAs, and each one covers a certain aspect of the grantor’s life. Two common types are medical POAs — which let the agent make healthcare decisions for the grantor — and financial POAs, which give the agent control over financial and real estate decisions.

2. Decide on a durable or non-durable POA.

With a regular POA, your authority to act as the grantor's agent will end if they're incapacitated. This could happen if they fell into a coma, or suffered from a degenerative disease like dementia. If the grantor makes their POA “durable," you can act on their behalf even if they're incapacitated. Durable POAs are used for estate-planning purposes, to plan for a time the grantor might not be able to handle their own affairs.

3. Discuss what authority the grantor wants to give the agent.

Once the grantor decides on a type of POA, they need to choose which responsibilities to give their agent. POAs can cover a wide range of decisions or be very focused, depending on what the grantor wants. It's a good idea to discuss these topics with the grantor. This will give you a clear idea of their wishes, so you can make decisions with confidence. Here are a couple of questions you can ask to spark discussion:

• What financial and medical decisions do you want me to make on your behalf?
• If you were in the hospital, how would you want me to pay your healthcare bills?
• Would you want to try risky or expensive medical procedures?
• Would you ever want to be on life support?
• How do you want me to maintain your real estate property, like your home, while you’re away?
• Do you want me to manage your investment accounts?

4. Get the correct power of attorney form.

Most states provide blank POA forms for free, which the grantor can fill out and sign. Your grantor can also use free online software, like FreeWill, to create a durable financial power of attorney, or a living will (which includes a healthcare power of attorney).

5. Have the grantor complete the form, and sign and witness it according to the laws in their state.

In most states, POAs must be signed in front of a notary. Some states also require additional witnesses. Your grantor should research and understand witnessing laws in the state where they live. Remember that if you’re listed as the agent in a POA, you generally can’t witness that POA, since it’s a conflict of interest.

Notaries are available in many locations, including banks, libraries, and even your local print shop. You can call your location of choice to check the hours their notary is on duty, and either schedule an appointment or walk in.

6. Have the grantor store their POA forms in a safe place, and give a copy to interested parties.

As the agent, you should keep a copy of the POA in a safe place. If you ever need to exercise your power as an agent, the POA is proof that you have the authority to act on behalf of the grantor. The grantor should also give a copy to interested third parties, like their bank and hospital.

Anyone can create a POA without the help of a lawyer. Depending on their situation, the grantor may want to consult with one to make sure their POA covers all their needs. Laws about executing POAs can vary from state to state.

How to use a power of attorney to manage someone’s affairs

When your authority as an agent goes into effect will depend on the POA. For example, the POA might state your authority begins when the grantor is declared incapacitated by a doctor. The moment this happens, you’re able to start exercising your authority.

When you need to make decisions for the grantor, provide the POA document to prove you have authority. For example, if you need to make a withdrawal from the grantor’s bank account, you should show the POA to the bank.

Even if the grantor gave you broad authority over their affairs, there are certain things you can’t do, even with a POA. For example, you:

• Can’t make changes to the grantor’s last will and testament
• Can’t vote on the grantor’s behalf
• Can’t enter into a marriage on the grantor’s behalf
• Can’t act against the grantor’s best interests

All types of POAs, even durable POAs, end when the grantor passes away and no longer have any legal authority. This means your authority as an agent also ends. If someone in your life wants to make a plan for their property after they die, they should consider making a last will and testament or a living trust.